


The Perils and Mishaps of Office Christmas Parties

by helloimsabrina



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Background Wolfstar, Christmas, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Non-magical AU, jily, lames, the office yankee swap au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 15:52:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17083256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helloimsabrina/pseuds/helloimsabrina
Summary: Quickly glancing around the circle to make sure no one was looking specifically at him, James finally opened the folded-up piece of paper in his hand. He felt a blooming feeling in his chest but kept his composure as he read who his Secret Santa was (or who he was going to be Secret Santa for, whatever).Quietly putting the paper in his pocket and leaning against the desk behind him, James looked over at Lily, who was just reading her own name.“Get anyone good, Evans?”Her eyes flicked toward him, green meeting hazel.“Wouldn’t you like to know?”...James pulls Lily for Secret Santa, and nothing turns out quite as expected.





	The Perils and Mishaps of Office Christmas Parties

**Author's Note:**

> So my friend PurpleBlueDinosaur told me I should write a Jily story about Secret Santa, and I immediately thought about the episode from The Office.  
> Thus, this little baby was born, and then grew into a not-so-little baby, who is ready to face the world just in time for Christmas!
> 
> I hope this is festive and Christmassy, and that you enjoy!
> 
> xx Sabrina

_“I don’t want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I neeeeeed!”_

Sirius’ sudden belting interrupted the near-silent office, causing a few jumps, dropped pens, and a muttered “holy shit” from James.

_“Don’t care about the presents underneath the Christmas treeeee!”_

Certain that he now held everyone’s attention (even those in the annex had appeared), Sirius stepped onto his office chair with outstretched arms, and Peter rushed forward to prevent what would surely be an HR disaster.

“Yeah, well _I_ care about the state of my eardrums!” James called out to his friend, who continued, undeterred.

_“I just want you for my own! MORE than you could EVER know!”_

Sirius was thriving off of his coworkers’ confusion, the volume of his singing rendering it more akin to screaming. James shot a glance toward Lily, who smirked and rolled her eyes.

You’re _his best friend_ , she mouthed.

_“Make my wish come trueeee… All I want for Christmas is – ”_

A bullhorn went off, interrupting the performance as everyone instinctively covered their ears and turned toward the main door – the source of the commotion. Even Sirius whipped around, coming dangerously close to losing his balance before jumping off the swivel chair, to Peter’s visible relief.

“SECRET SANTA!” Stephen yelled as he released the button on the bullhorn, walking toward the group that had gathered in the middle of the office.

“WHO’S EXCITED?”

There was a whoop from Sirius and some smiles from the others before Stephen hit the bullhorn again and hands flew back to cover ears, a collective groan of “Stephen!” rising from the group.

“What? Be a little more festive, guys, for God’s sake!” Stephen exclaimed as he continued to pulse the button.

Lily, who was closest to Stephen, yanked the bullhorn out of his hand and held it just out of reach.

“Stephen, enough!”

People were rubbing their ears as Stephen laughed defensively. James silently thanked the powers that be for Lily’s quick thinking.

“What? I’m just trying to get into the holiday spirit! Who the hell doesn’t like Secret Santa?”

“Stephen, we _do_ like Secret Santa,” Lily appeased. “But we can be festive without having to lose our hearing in the process.

“Yes, _mum_.”

Lily shot Stephen a glare, which he missed.

“Some of you may have forgotten, but it is now December,” Sirius declared, dramatically pulling a top hat out of his desk drawer and showing it off to those gathered. “And that means it’s time to pick our Secret Santas!”

“Actually, we’re picking the person we’re going to be Secret Santa _for_ ,” said Mary.

“Shut up Mary, nobody asked you!” Stephen replied, laughing as if he had told a classic joke. Across the room, Mary bristled.

“Anyway,” Lily continued, getting a handful of strips of paper from the reception desk, “Stephen, why don’t you do the honours?”

Stephen took the folded strips out of her hands and ceremoniously dropped them in Sirius’ outstretched top hat, swirling his hand around in it for good measure.

“All right, all right, all right!” Sirius announced in a terrible Matthew McConaughey impression. “Stephen, choose your victim.”

Stephen took his time picking what was surely the bottom-most piece of paper, barely opening it a crack to reveal the name he had pulled.

Sirius made his way around the somewhat-circle, and James observed each person’s reaction as they read their name. Some definitely had better poker faces than others; Bertram could not contain his disappointment upon opening their paper, while Dorcas smiled mischievously upon discovering her name.

When it was James’ turn to pick, he grabbed a paper quickly and without looking into the hat, preferring for the outcome to be as random as possible. Sirius waggled his eyebrows at him and made as if to look at James’ name, but the latter made sure to hold it in his fist until Sirius had moved on to Benjy.

Quickly glancing around the circle to make sure no one was looking specifically at him, James finally opened the folded-up piece of paper in his hand. He felt a blooming feeling in his chest but kept his composure as he read who his Secret Santa was (or who he was going to be Secret Santa for, _whatever)_.

Quietly putting the paper in his pocket and leaning against the desk behind him, James looked over at Lily, who was just reading her own name.

“Get anyone good, Evans?”

Her eyes flicked toward him, green meeting hazel.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

* * *

 

“Just get her a ring, goddammit!”

“The limit is _fifteen pounds_ , Padfoot, I can’t get her a fucking ring!”

“There are plenty of perfectly respectable fifteen-pound rings! Also, I would just like to point out, for the record, that you didn’t miss a beat when I proposed (haha, proposed) a ring? You are _so_ far gone, mate.”

“I’m not – I wasn’t thinking of it like that!”

“Mmmhmm,” came Sirius’ disbelieving reply from his horizontal position on the couch.

“Oh my God, I wasn’t! I just thought – what? Women like jewellery, don’t they?”

“ _So. Far. Gone.”_

James ran his hands through his already messy hair in frustration. Pulling Lily Evans for Secret Santa had not been a good move, despite what he may have believed upon reading her name on his piece of paper. The good fortune he had felt that afternoon was gone, now reasonably replaced with pure panic.

“So then get her chocolates, or tea. Everyone loves tea and chocolates,” Sirius suggested.

“That’s so impersonal! Tea and chocolates is like saying ‘Hey, I totally forgot about this until last night, so I ran to Tesco’s and picked out the first things I could find’ – or _worse_ , ‘Hey, I hate Secret Santa and you, but I had these lying around the flat so Happy Christmas, I guess.’”

James was practically panting as Sirius let out a ridiculous laugh, rolling off the couch in mirth and swiping at the tears that had gathered in his eyes.

“ _I hate Secret Santa and you_. I have no clue how you come up with these things, Prongs. I would say you’re overthinking this, but that was half an hour ago. You’ve thought this thing so out of proportion I can’t even come up with a good metaphor for it.”

“What about a fountain pen? Lily has such lovely writing, I’m sure it would look even nicer with a fountain pen,” James offered.

Sirius snorted. “Prongs, a fountain pen is most _definitely_ more than fifteen pounds. Or it’s shite. Besides, if you’re so freaked out about it, why don’t you just switch names with me? You already know I pulled Mary anyway, and I’m sure she wouldn’t be offended by tea and chocolates.”

“No, I don’t – I don’t want to _switch names_ , I just don’t bloody know what to get for Lily,” James admitted, ignoring Sirius’ knowing look.

“Anyway, Remus and I are going skating,” Sirius announced, rolling onto his feet and pulling on a scarf and boots.

“Wait, what? You can’t leave me now – Sirius I’m in a crisis!” James spluttered as the door opened and the aforementioned Remus stepped into the flat, brushing snow off his coat.

“Who’s in crisis now?”

Remus’ tone could have passed for concerned if it weren’t for his smirk, and the fact that he had borne witness to countless “crises”.

“Prongsie here pulled Lily for Secret Santa at the office today,” Sirius explained, greeting Remus with a quick peck before turning back to James. “Darling, when it comes to Lily Evans, you’re always in crisis,” He continued, buttoning his coat and sparing James a last glance. “See you later – don’t propose before I get back!”

Sirius opened the front door and pushed Remus through it.

“What, are you kidding me? Sirius!”

The door slammed shut.

He was so fucking far gone.

* * *

 

“So, Lily,”

At the mention of her name, James looked up from his computer, only to mentally kick himself and look back at the spreadsheet in front of him. _Focus, Potter._

“What might a lovely lady such as yourself like to receive for Christmas? Any particular fancies, say, around fifteen pounds?”

James’ head whipped toward the reception desk before he could stop himself. Benjy Fenwick was leaning against it, giving Lily what he assumed was supposed to be a mysterious look. There was no way. He had pulled Lily’s name. What was Benjy playing at?

James saw Lily’s eyes flick to where he was sat before returning her attention to Benjy.

“Well now, it wouldn’t be any fun if I made it easy for you, would it?” She replied easily, spinning slightly in her swivel chair.

“Come _on_ , Evans, help a bloke out! It ain’t easy to shop for women – particularly with a fifteen-pound limit.”

Was he – _flirting_ with Lily? And since when did he call her ‘Evans’? Only James ever called Lily by her last name. James looked over at Sirius’ desk beside his, wanting to see if he was also witnessing the exchange, but there were headphones over his long hair as he typed away. James looked back up at the pair, then stared back at his desk before Fenwick caught him eavesdropping.

The redhead scoffed.

“And you think it’s any easier to shop for men? I don’t think the difficulty has anything to do with men or women; it’s just about how well you know a person. Would it really be so much easier to pick a gift for, say, Potter?”

James looked up again, Lily’s hand gesturing toward him as Benjy turned to look at him. He shot them an awkward mini-wave.

“Touché, Lily dear. I wouldn’t know what to get _James_ either.”

Lily blushed slightly, and James noticed a mischievous glint in Benjy’s eyes.

“I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t pull his name for Secret Santa.”

James watched as Benjy made his way back to his desk at Accounting. The git was definitely up to something. James just needed to figure out what.

* * *

 

James was washing his hands when Benjy walked into the loo, grinning when he noticed its occupant.

“So, _Potter_ ,” he began, leaning on the sink next to James’. “Do you have any helpful ideas about what I should get Lily for Secret Santa?”

James shut off the water and flicked his hands in the sink.

“Oh, bugger off, Benjy. I know you didn’t pull Lily.”

The accountant crossed his arms and grinned wider.

“Oh yeah, how’s that? You already figure out everyone’s Secret Santa? Or did you get Sirius to help you rig the name-pulling?”

James huffed incredulously, reaching across Benjy for the paper towel.

“I did not figure out everyone’s Secret Santa, and I _definitely_ didn’t have Sirius rig anything. I pulled a random name, just like everyone else.”

“So then how could you possibly know I don’t have Lily for Secret Santa?”

 _Think, dumbass,_ think.

“There’s no way you would be so obvious if you had. It would spoil the surprise, and that’s really the whole point of the stupid thing, isn’t it? Which only begs the question – why are you trying to be so obvious about having Lily for Secret Santa, when you clearly don’t?”

“You pulled Lily Evans’ name, didn’t you?”

James should’ve expected the question. The whole setup, really. Benjy had clearly been trying to get his attention when he was at Lily’s desk earlier.

And yet, James just spluttered in forced incredulity, unnecessarily walking over to the bin to toss the paper towel just so he could avoid Benjy’s gaze.

Even he didn’t believe it when he said, “I didn’t pull Lily’s name, I pulled Peter’s.”

“Mmmhmm,” came Benjy’s reply.

James walked out of the loo, even more confused than before.

And annoyed.

Why the hell did Benjy seem so pleased that James had pulled Lily for Secret Santa?

* * *

James could not, for the life of him, figure out this spreadsheet. Why the bloody hell didn’t the numbers match up?

Something hit the side of his face, and he bolted straight up in his seat. God, his shoulders ached. How long had he been hunched over his computer?

He rolled his shoulders back as he turned to look at Lily. _Open it_. He looked down at the crumpled ball of paper that had bounced off his face and onto his desk.

He opened it quickly, disrupting the quiet. Ripping off the metaphorical plaster was better than having his coworkers turn to look at him with every slow crinkle of paper.

Sirius turned at the sound and, noticing the paper in James’ hands, gave him a wink that he didn’t even try to make subtle. James stuck out his tongue at his best friend.

He smoothed out the creases of the paper in front of him, revealing a cartoon sketch of Sirius standing on his swivel chair, arms out wide, head throw back, and mouth open in song.

James smiled up at Lily, who grinned back at him.

He returned to the drawing, noticing the people gathered around Sirius – Lily had even drawn Peter as he held onto the swivel chair, his face comically distressed.

Opening his messaging app on his laptop, he wrote to Lily.

 **PotterJamesPotter:** _You’ve got some skill, Evans_

 **Lily of the Evans:** * _curtsies* I try_

 **PotterJamesPotter:** _Although, Sirius would complain that you didn’t give his lushous hair_

_the detail it deserves_

_**luscious_

**Lily of the Evans:** _haha, the only thing Sirius cares about more than his hair is Remus_

 **PotterJamesPotter:** _exCUSe you! Bros before hoes – there’s no way he loves Remus more_

_than me!_

James heard Lily snort. He folded the drawing carefully and slipped it into his desk drawer before walking up to reception.

“Busy?” he asked as Lily turned away from her screen.

“Clearly not… I mean I have this whole stack of shit to staple, but I really don’t want to.”

“God, I totally understand. I mean, just the smell would be…”

Lily laughed at his stupid joke, and James felt his own smile widen as his stomach tightened. _So far gone._

“What about you? You looked very serious just then,” Lily replied, scrunching her eyebrows and squinting her eyes.

“Evans!” James whisper-yelled, putting a hand over his heart. “Are you mocking my hardships? I will have you know that Excel is out to get me. There is something wrong with the system!”

Lily raised an eyebrow.

“Or _you_ , James Potter, refuse to admit that you don’t know how to work the system. Have you bothered to learn any of the fancy functions, or are you trying to do this entire thing with “equals sum”?”

James leaned his elbows on the desk, bringing his face closer to Lily’s.

“I will have you know I have made _plenty_ of spreadsheets in my time here, and no one has ever complained about my use of “equals sum”.”

“Maybe, but it takes you the better part of a week to finish them!” Lily retorted.

“That’s just because I hate them so much,” James muttered, laying his head on his arms. “Just give me the sweet embrace of death, Evans. I can’t look at fucking Microsoft Excel anymore.”

“Sorry, I’m all sold out of the sweet embrace of death. How about some tea, though?” Lily stood up, walking out from behind her desk.

James sighed dramatically but followed Lily toward the break room, smiling at the back of her auburn hair despite himself. “I guess tea will do.”

* * *

 

“Hey Pete, you got a mo’?”

“Well! If it isn’t James Potter, descended from on high to mingle with the commoners.”

James grinned.

“Sarabi and I didn’t see you at the presentation of Simba.”

“That was today? God, I feel simply _awful_.”

Peter screeched in an imitation of Scar’s nails against the cave wall.

James perched himself on the edge of the desk.

“What’s up? You don’t usually come back to the annex to talk to me,” Pete observed, pushing away from his desk and turning to face James.

“Okay. So this is for Pete my mate not Peter-who-is-HR, okay?” James adjusted his glasses, dropping his voice to a whisper. “I pulled Lily for Secret Santa, and I have _no clue_ what to get her.”

“Why would this be appropriate for Pete-your-mate, but not Peter-who-is-HR?” the blonde laughed, confused.

“Well, I dunno. Maybe HR is supposed to report anyone who talks about who they pulled for Secret Santa or something,” James flushed.

Peter burst out laughing.

“ _What._ ”

“I’m HR, Prongs, not paid to be the office buzzkill!”

James ran a hand through his hair, abashed.

“Well fine, whatever. Can you help me or not?”

“Yeah, yeah, fine,” Peter tapped his fingers on his leg. “Hmmm, what about a Christmas jumper?”

“I don’t know what size to buy, or what kind of jumpers she likes.”

“Okay, what about sticky notes? She seems to be running out.”

James frowned. “Can’t she just expense those to the office?”

“Right. A painting?”

“For _fifteen_ pounds?”

Pete stopped tapping. “Well, I don’t know then! Why don’t you just ask her?”

James’ hands found themselves back in his hair (maybe that was the reason it was always so messy; he couldn’t keep his hands away from it).

“I can’t just _ask her_ , Pete! That would ruin the whole point of Secret Santa!”

“Well obviously don’t ask her _outright_. Be subtle! Bring up a conversation about Christmas and small joys. It _is_ December after all, it’s not like everyone isn’t talking about Christmas anyway.”

James jumped to his feet.

“Pete, you’re a genius! I knew I should have come to you first!”

Peter snorted.

“You really thought Sirius would be any help with this?”

“Well I was brainstorming at home, and he was the other one there!”

“Brainstorming? Or freaking out?” Pete asked pointedly. “Why don’t you just ask her out, mate?”

“What? I don’t – I’m not – ” James tried to formulate a proper sentence. “I wasn’t freaking out.”

Peter crossed his arms.

“Mmmhmm.”

James walked toward the door, tossing Pete a “Thanks again, mate!” on his way out. All he had to do was casually bring up Christmas in conversation with Lily. That couldn’t be hard, could it? It was fine. He _wasn’t_ freaking out.

He was fine, forget what Sirius and Peter said.

And Benjy.

James frowned.

And what was with people ‘mmmhmm’ing him?

* * *

 

James was trying as hard as he possibly could not to cry.

 _Not in front of the lads,_ he told himself.

The pain was far more than he expected, though, tearing through his insides.

He wasn’t sure if he should ignore the three pairs of eyes staring at him, or if they were actually helping him keep his composure.

Sirius’ gaze was a challenge; he clearly didn’t think James could hold out.

Remus was wearing his ‘I told you so’ face, but James caught him glancing at the telly out of the corner of his eye.

Peter looked mildly concerned.

James picked up the last chicken wing.

The smell alone brought fresh tears to his eyes as he raised the final challenge to his mouth. He forced himself to take a bite.

James barely chewed the meat before swallowing, already taking another bite. He almost choked up the first piece as he accidentally licked part of the second, spice and acidity burning a hole in his tongue.

Sirius opened his mouth, only to have Peter slap his hand in front of it.

_No joking. No heckling. No goading. No distracting. No talking._

James bit the rest of the meat off the bone, chewing only a couple times before forcing it down his throat.

He took a measured breath, the others holding their own.

And then he gave into the pain, dropping the bone on his paper plate and running to the kitchen. He barely registered his friends’ raucous laughter as he threw open the fridge and grabbed the milk carton, tipping its contents into his flaming mouth. He closed his eyes and felt a few tears escape onto his face, but he didn’t pause to brush them away. He didn’t even care that he was getting milk all over his chin and on his shirt.

Sweet, sweet relief _._

When he finally paused for breath, still holding the carton, James found that the pain was there, but mercifully dulled. He ran a hand under the faucet to wipe the milk off his face, drying himself with a kitchen towel and walking victoriously back into the living room.

“Pay up, boys.” He meant for his tone to be triumphant, but his voice came out croaky instead.

Remus laughed but reached for his wallet, pulling out a fiver which James happily accepted. Pete went to do the same, but Sirius interrupted, frowning at James suspiciously.

“Wait. How do we know you didn’t cheat?”

James jaw went slack.

“What do you – you were there – you were all watching me _the whole time_.”

Sirius stood up anyway, disappearing into the kitchen and reappearing a few moments later.

“Okay. I didn’t see any pieces of chicken wing in the trash or the sink, so I guess you’re good,” he conceded.

“Pay up, Padfoot,” James insisted as he took the note Peter passed him.

“All right, all right! I just wanted to be sure,” Sirius defended as he gave James what he was owed.

“Congratulations Prongs, for eating exactly five _Infernissimo_ chicken wings, beating your own record by half a chicken wing,” Pete declared.

James gave a little bow as the others clapped.

“So, can we get back to NCIS now?” Remus asked. “As entertaining as your suffering is, darling, you’re nowhere as entertaining as DeNozzo.”

James flipped him the bird, grinning.

“You’re just jealous that you only managed two of these chicken wings before needing several spoonfuls of sugar.”

They watched the screen for several minutes, Sirius confusing the murder victim for Abby and Peter having to talk him down from his forming conspiracy.

“She’s wearing a choker. It _has_ to be Abby.”

“Her hair is brown, Padfoot. Abby’s is black, and it’s always in pigtails!”

They always gathered at James and Sirius’ flat on Wednesday nights. Peter would pick up dinner from the wings place around the corner from where he lived, and Remus brought beer. They took turns picking a show to watch, currently making their way through NCIS – Remus’ choice. Sometimes James or Sirius would challenge each other to try and eat as many of the infamous _Infernissimo_ wings as possible, James always rising to the bait.

Their weekly tradition had become as repetitive as the formulaic shows they favoured.

James loved every part of it. He had briefly wondered if things would change when Sirius and Remus started dating little over a year ago, but if anything, the dynamic became more natural. The two were a little closer than before, some part of their bodies always touching, but they still played the same roles. Remus was the most engrossed in the show, Sirius was always at least a little confused, and Peter still explained what was going on in fond exasperation.

Eventually Remus, who usually enjoyed the show while quietly munching, spoke.

“I hope those fifteen pounds are worth the stomach ache you’re gonna have tonight, Prongs,” he commented without looking away from Wilder Valderrama onscreen.

James felt his stomach turn.

Well, maybe not every part of it.

* * *

 

“ _YESSS!”_ James whisper-yelled at his computer screen, slapping his hands on his desk before leaning back in his chair and lifting his arms in victory.

“I’ll have what she’s having,” Sirius remarked dryly.

James supposed he _had_ been muttering and making frustrated noises at his computer for the better part of the morning.

“The numbers _match,_ Padfoot!”

James turned his screen toward Sirius to show him his success, pointing at the matching cells.

“Wait, what formula did you use?” The long-haired man pulled the screen closer, clicking on one of the cells. “Prongs, you could have saved yourself so much time by just using ‘averageifs’.” He shook his head like he was James’ primary school teacher.

“Shut the fuck up, it’s not like we all have your oh so special Excel skills,” James retorted, grabbing his screen back and setting it in front of him on his desk.

“That’s just it Prongs, they’re not ‘oh-so-special’. All you literally have to do is actually Google stuff sometimes.”

“ _Whatever._ I made them match,” James insisted.

He looked over at Lily’s empty seat.

Right. The Party Planning Committee was meeting to discuss the Christmas party.

“Mate, you know she would say the same thing I just did,” Sirius commented. Then, lowering his voice to a stage whisper, “Why don’t you just ask her out already? Seriously, what are you waiting for, mate?”

James turned back to face his friend, a smirk on his face. Sirius spoke before he could make his witty remark.

“I know, ‘siriusly’, haha, like I’ve never heard that one before. But for real, mate, what’s stopping you?”

James opened his mouth, not even sure what he would say, but was saved the need to respond as the meeting room door opened, and the Party Planning Committee stepped out.

Bertram and Francine looked satisfied, Sally looked cross, and Lily made eye contact with James immediately, rolling her eyes and mouthing, _Tea?_

He nodded and made his way to the kitchen, grabbing two mugs out of the cupboard. He heard the door shut as Lily filled the kettle with water and turned it on.

“I don’t even know why I’m still a part of this ridiculous party planning committee,” she said, getting two teabags and setting them in the mugs James had procured.

“That bad, huh?” James leaned against the kitchen counter, smiling at Lily.

The redhead rolled her eyes again, and James found himself a little too focused on just how green they were.

“Sally wants things done so specifically, as if she were throwing the Queen’s Christmas party on our meagre budget. She forgets that this is supposed to be fun for everyone, a way to celebrate the end of the year with each other and sure, we can make it look nice or whatever, but come _on_ , nothing within our budget is going to totally transform our office.”

James laughed.

“What did she want? A Winter Wonderland theme? Or full-on Nutcracker?”

“God, no. Sally is convinced that the party should be more refined than that. She wants “classic” decorations, whatever that means, and everyone in formal wear, and an actual sit-down dinner,” Lily ran a hand through her hair. “Can you imagine us all showing up in formal wear for an office Christmas party?”

“Well, if it’s right after work, we’d have to pack our formal wear, or else work in it all day,” James supplied.

“Oh my _God_ don’t even get me started on that. She wants the party to start right after work and end at eight, but obviously we only have budget for snacks and refreshments, not a bloody five-course meal!”

The kettle started whistling, and Lily reach across James to pour the boiling water into their cups. James opened the fridge behind him to add milk. Just a splash for Lily, almost half the cup for him. Lily swirled in the proper amount of sugar for both of them, and James realized that they both knew perfectly how each other liked their tea – they even had the routine down to habit. But that wasn’t so weird, was it? They were mates, and they did drink a lot of tea in the office. James brought his attention back to Lily, who had been talking while he was lost in his head.

“… managed to convince her that six to ten PM was just fine, and that it would be nice to be able to bring a plus one,” she was saying.

 _Plus one?_ They were supposed to bring a plus one to the office Christmas party? James felt dread begin to fill his chest.

“Not that I have anyone to bring as a plus one,” Lily continued, James’ chest lightening just as quickly as it had tightened. “But it would be nice to get to know each other better and get to know the significant others of the people we see every day!”

She blew lightly on her tea before taking a sip.

“Yeah, I guess I haven’t even thought if anyone’s got a girlfriend or boyfriend, let alone a husband or wife…” James wondered aloud.

“Exactly!” Lily exclaimed. “Sirius could bring Remus though… it’s been so long since I’ve seen him. Though I suppose that isn’t a problem for you,” she laughed.

“Yeah no, I probably see too much of him, to be honest,” James chuckled.

“How’s he liking the new job?”

“He’s busier than he was before, but I think he’s really enjoying it,” James replied.

“Aw, I’m so glad to hear that – I always knew Remus wouldn’t stay here as long as we lot have,” Lily admitted.

James took a long drink.

“Yeah, I s’ppose so… what’s it been now? Like three years?”

“Yeah, just about,” Lily mused.

James whistled. “Time really does fly, I guess.”

“Oh, definitely. Time flies so fast it’s probably exploring Neptune by now,” Lily joked.

James couldn’t help the fond smile he gave Lily. Why _didn’t_ he just ask her? They were close friends, they spent half their time at work with each other in some capacity, she was friends with his other mates, she wasn’t seeing anyone else…

But there was a dread in his gut, something holding him back. It wasn’t just that he was scared to ask; there was more to it than that. So he just laughed and listened and drank his tea, and told himself that he was lucky – lucky to be friends with Lily Evans.

* * *

 

“TGIF, BITCHES!”

Stephen was doing his celebration dance Friday afternoon after having gathered everyone in the office, claiming he had a special announcement.

“So, as you know, our office Christmas party is happening soon, and the Party Planning Committee can finally tell us about it!”

Sally stepped forward, her blonde hair neatly held back by her red-and-green plaid hairband.

“The Christmas party will be on the evening of the twenty-first, which is our last work day before the holidays. We’ll go from six to ten PM,” at this, James noticed Sally’s resigned tone ad exchange a smirk with Lily, across the room. “and will provide festive snacks and refreshments. Everyone can also bring a plus one if they wish to.”

“Do the refreshments include booze?” Sirius called out.

“Yeah, Sally, what about the booze? You left enough money in the budget for this to be a real party, right?” Stephen laughed, playfully shoving Sally, who glared at him. Before she could answer though, Peter spoke up.

“Actually Stephen, Corporate doesn’t allow alcohol at any of the Christmas parties. They want things to stay professional. It is a work event, after all,” he explained.

Stephen booed. “Thanks a lot, _HR_. All we wanted was a little fun; Corporate didn’t have to know about it!”

Lily took a step closer to Peter as his shoulders dropped.

“Stephen, Corporate would have found out. The Christmas party is on their budget, and we have to send them all the receipts in order to expense it – the only way to get past Corporate would be to buy all the alcohol out of your own pocket.”

James felt a strange sense of pride that Lily never took Stephen’s shit, and really appreciated her standing up for Peter, who was too used to being the butt of Stephen’s jokes.

Stephen pouted like a little boy. “ _Fine._ We’ll have a boring party then.”

Lily just rolled her eyes before addressing the rest of the group.

“Remember that the limit for Secret Santa gifts is fifteen pounds! And when you wrap your gift, put ‘from’ and your name. Don’t write who the gift is for – that’ll be part of the surprise during the party.”

“One last thing,” Francine added. “You don’t have to make the gift super personal, but really try to make it something that you know your Secret Santa will enjoy. Don’t be lazy, get in the spirit of Christmas!”

Stephen clapped once.

“Thank you everyone. Now, get BACK TO WORK!” he yelled, the only one laughing as people made their way back to their desks.

* * *

 

It was Wednesday morning, and something was wrong. It was more than the hump-day feeling, something distinctly _off_ about the office.

James opened his messaging app.

 **PotterJamesPotter:** _Yo, Padfoot, something’s off and I can’t figure out what_

 **Siriusly Black:** _it’s Wednesday mate, that’s what_

 **PotterJamesPotter:** _No, there’s something else…_

_Can’t you feel it?_

**Siriusly Black:** _I’m tired and I have to do a bunch of end-of-year paperwork._

_I don’t know what else to tell you, Prongs_

**PotterJamesPotter:** _you’re no help. I’ll ask Pete instead._

Sirius snorted but otherwise remained occupied by his laptop. James frowned, something nudging at the back of his head, but not clear enough for him to put his finger on.

 **PotterJamesPotter:** _Pete! Do you feel like anything’s off today?_

 **Pettigrew-not-Pan:** _ummm_

_Am I supposed to?_

**PotterJamesPotter:** _Something feels wrong in the office, but idk what._

_It’s not just Wednesday tho_

_And Sirius isn’t helping_

**Pettrigrew-not-Pan:** _Is all your stuff on your desk? Maybe Sirius moved your shit._

_Or maybe you ate something weird for breakfast?_

James checked his desk. Filer, pen, notepad, stapler, charger, mug, pictures, water bottle, laptop. Nothing seemed out of place.

He looked over at Sirius. He seemed fairly engrossed in his work, not smirking like he usually did when he was pranking James.

 **PotterJamesPotter:** _Just checked. Everything there_

_And I ate the same thing I always eat for breakfast._

**Pettigrew-not-Pan:** _sorry, mate. Can’t think of anything else._

_Hope you figure it out though!_

**PotterJamesPotter:** _Thanks, mate._

_Also, lunch today?_

**Pettigrew-not-Pan:** _Yep, sounds good_

His desk was normal, Sirius wasn’t smirking, he hadn’t eaten anything strange… James opened his desk drawer just in case. Sticky notes, extra pens, pencil, Lily’s drawing – _Lily._

James’ head snapped up to the empty reception desk. What time was it? He checked his watch, his brain probably taking too long to translate the position of the hands. 10:17. Lily was late.

Granted, Lily was always late. She usually arrived, huge scarf wrapped around her head and face flushed from the cold, sometime after 9:30. Transit from where she lived to the office was unpredictable, and hardly anyone called the office before 10:30 anyway, so it wasn’t a big deal. But, 10:17 – 10:18 now. Lily was never this late.

Something was definitely wrong.

* * *

 

Lily stumbled into the office at 10:41, James’ concerned gaze immediately landing on her as she hung up her coat and scarf, tossing her bag on her desk chair. Her auburn hair was in what looked like a cross between and bun and a ponytail, her shirt was wrinkled, and when she turned around James saw the stressed – panicked, even – look on her face, just for a second. He realized she wasn’t wearing makeup.

As she was setting her things on her desk, Stephen stepped out of his office, walking towards reception.

“Miss Evans, 10:45 is pretty tardy, even for you.”

James resisted the urge to tell Stephen that Lily got in at 10: _41_ , and it wasn’t even 10:45 right now, arsehole.

“I’m so sorry, Stephen,” Lily apologized. “I totally slept through my alarm. But I swear it won’t happen again.”

“Up all night partying and you didn’t invite me?” Stephen joked before sobering his tone. “I’m kidding. But seriously, don’t let this happen again.”

Lily just nodded, and Stephen returned to his office and shut the door.

She finished taking her things out of her bag and set it under her desk, falling into her chair and rubbing her hands over her face. She yanked the elastic out of her half-done hair, pulling it back into something closer resembling a proper bun.

James stood up and went over to her. She swiveled her chair slightly toward him as he leaned on the edge of her desk, giving him a tired smile.

“Even the best of us sleep through our alarm sometimes, Potter.”

James must have taken too long to respond, because Lily continued.

“What? Not going to tell me it’s mighty high of myself to say I’m the best?”

Now that he was closer, James noticed the bags under Lily’s eyes, the sadness beneath the stress. Her whole body seemed weary, shoulders curved inward and head leaning on her hand.

“Evans, are you okay?”

Lily huffed out a breath.

“I look that bad, huh. Shows how important sleep actually is. One fitful night and no makeup and I look monstrous enough to worry you,” she tried to joke, but James wasn’t having it.

“Lily, what’s wrong?” his voice came out more pleading than concerned.

Lily sighed, eyes flicking toward the door.

“Hallway.”

* * *

 

James followed Lily outside the office. She sat down sideways at the top of the staircase, and he slid down the wall next to her. He had so many questions he wanted to ask, so many things he wanted to say, but he felt like he should let Lily share what she would on her own time.

They sat in silence for a minute, James fiddling with a thread in his trousers, Lily staring straight ahead.

“My ex-best friend called me yesterday.”

James felt his eyebrows shoot up, but schooled his expression into neutral attentiveness before turning his head toward Lily to let her know he was listening.

 “We were childhood friends. Growing up in Cokeworth, it was nice to have each other, you know? There weren’t that many kids living near us, and he was my age…” Lily was still facing forward, her eyes far away.

“Petunia, my sister – she’s three years older than I am – she and I were close when we were little. But as she got older and found her own friends, got more interested in acting “mature for her age” … Sev and I would spend hours in the park near our houses.”

She smiled briefly, remembering.

“He came from a difficult family. His stepdad was an angry drunk, but Sev showed me so much magic in our little town. We spent long summer days pretending were anyone, anywhere that wasn’t Cokeworth.

“Petunia never really liked Sev, thought he was trouble, and so we kept growing distant as she spent more time with her friends, and I spent more time with Sev, and that made her want to spend even less time with me…”

Lily drew her right knee up to her chest, leaning her elbow on it and her head on her hand.

“Sev and I got scholarships to a special secondary school, and that was it. Tuney was _furious_ , and started calling us freaks, started really hating me.

“I think – I think she was also jealous, and sad,” Lily admitted quietly. “I know that sounds like I’m just praising myself but, I really do think there was more to her reaction than just disgust.”

James simply nodded as she glanced at him, trying to convey his understanding.

“Anyway, we went off to school, and by then Sev was basically my only friend, since neither of us knew anyone else. In Year 9, though, we were in different classes, and I started to actually hang out with some of the other girls I’d started to know from previous years.

“I found I liked the girl friendships I hadn’t really had before, and although Sev and I still hung out most days after school, just doing homework and whatnot, I started eating lunch with the girls, and spending some weekends with them instead of Sev.”

Lily took a deep, steadying breath.

“He was jealous, and made no attempt to hide it. He started picking fights with me, accusing me of being a shit friend and spending too much time with ‘those dumb, vapid girls’. Obviously I defended them, but I also felt bad – guilty that I was Sev’s only friend and I was just adding to his shitty home life by abandoning him.”

James frowned, and Lily quickly continued.

“Of course I shouldn’t have felt guilty – but he had been my friend for so long, and I just felt like I was somehow betraying him.

“A few months in we had a really big row – we didn’t speak for three weeks afterwards. He said some pretty nasty things, but I also called him clingy and irrational, and during that time we completely ignored each other at school. I got closer to my other friends, and I tried not to feel bad about Sev being all alone all the time.

“Except he wasn’t alone. Once he finally made a half-apology and we made up, I started noticing he was spending time with a group of older guys from Petunia’s school – guys who had too much time on their hands, who were always looking for trouble.”

Lily interrupted herself with a scoff.

“God, I sound like my mum.”

She brought her other knee to her chest, loosely clasping her hands around them and angling herself a little toward James. _Probably unconsciously_ , he thought.

“Anyway, I finally confronted him about it when I found out a twelve-year-old boy was beaten up in the park. The kid had identified one of them, said there were others there as well. Sev looked panicked when I asked him if he had been there, but all he said was ‘Come on, Lily, the faggot had it coming.’”

James’ mouth went slack.

“He said it so matter-of-factly. And then when he saw my face,” her expression hardened, and she said her next words slowly, both unbelieving and all too certain. “he said, ‘Don’t tell me you’re a homo-lover.’ As if I would be on his side, as if I understood and supported his hateful beliefs,” she practically spat the last word.

“That was it. I realized my best friend wasn’t the person I thought he was – hadn’t been for a while. And though he came back and apologized for what he said, insisting he didn’t mean it, I could tell he wasn’t sorry, not really. And the final blow was that once I had made it clear I would never be friends with him again, he completely joined the gang of guys he had sworn he wouldn’t hang out with anymore when he was trying to get me back.”

Lily swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand, and James took the other one in his, squeezing once and holding on.

She smiled sadly.

“Last night my phone rang, and I didn’t recognize the number, so I don’t even know why I picked up, but I just heard my name, and his voice, and I had no idea how he got my number. I couldn’t talk, but couldn’t hang up either.

“He started saying that he missed me, asking what I was up to.  And then he almost –” Lily stopped herself.

“When I was seventeen, years after we fell out, he called me once. It was late, probably past midnight, but I answered anyway, worried something terrible had happened. He said –” her voice broke, and she took a few breaths before continuing. “He said that he loved me, that he couldn’t live without me, and that he was standing on the edge of a bridge. That he would jump if I didn’t love him back.”

James felt a wave of rage rise and crest inside him, wanting nothing more than to find this pathetic man and knock a few good blows into him. His anger subsided, however, as soon his gaze refocused on Lily, and he scooted closer to her on the wall, letting go of her hand to draw her into his side. It was an awkward shuffle given their angles and the space they were in, but James knew he had done the right thing when Lily rested her head on his shoulder before continuing in a quiet voice.

“I was terrified. I called the police and told them what had happened, then ran all the way to that bridge in the middle of the night. He was standing on the edge when I got there. I thought I would have to talk him down from it, but I guess my showing up was enough for him. Thank God. I don’t think I could have lied and said I loved him, but I wouldn’t have been able to get him down otherwise.

“The police arrived just after I did, and as soon as he saw them he changed completely. He rushed at me, and I don’t know what he would have done, but two officers stepped in and held him back. He started yelling. Called me a twat. Called me a traitor.”

James stiffened, pulling Lily in tighter and doing his best to redirect his outrage by stroking his hand along her arm.

“I didn’t stay to hear the rest. I ran all the way home, and blocked his number in my phone.”

Lily raised her head and stared at her knees.

“So when he called yesterday, and I heard him about to say… to say what he did the last time, I hung up and blocked the number, threw it in a drawer. I tried to do something normal, watch telly, but I couldn’t stop thinking about him, about being a kid, about the way he manipulated me.

“The worst part is,” Lily sniffed, “I _missed_ him.”

She huffed out a disgusted laugh.

“I heard his voice and a part of me still jumped at the memories of us being kids, our imagination running wild. Don’t get me wrong. I definitely don’t wish he was in my life,” Lily clarified, even though James understood what she meant. “It just – took me by surprise. And I didn’t expect to feel the way I did either.”

As if realizing what had transpired in the last who knew how many minutes, Lily straightened, rubbing at her eyes with the heels of her hands and turning sheepishly to James.

“So anyway, I was up half the night and slept through my alarm, and now I’m here.”

She frowned at James’ shoulder.

“I’m sorry if I got any snot on your shirt.”

James gave her a small smile.

“Don’t be sorry.”

Lily looked up at him and understood.

“Thank you.”

She said it quietly, earnestly; her eyes not leaving his.

He took her hand and pulled them both to their feet. Before he could overthink it, James wrapped his arms around Lily in a hug that she barely had time to reciprocate before he was pulling away.

“I’m okay,” she told him. He must have looked concerned.

“I know you are,” he replied.

* * *

 

“So, how’d it go with Lily?” Peter asked while pouring tartare sauce over his fish and chips.

“ _Wah?_ ” James responded through a mouthful of food.

“I thought you were going to try and figure out what to get her for Secret Santa?” Peter continued, nonplussed.

James swallowed. “Oh shit, I totally forgot about that.”

Peter laughed.

“I guess you must not be that stressed about it anymore,” He took a bite of his food. “So, you know what you’re getting then?”

James shook his head.

“No, not yet…” He observed Peter for a second. “Actually, would it be okay if Lily joined us tonight?”

Peter stopped cutting his fish and peered curiously at his friend. James looked away, busying himself by pouring vinegar over his chips.

“Have you asked Sirius and Remus?”

“No,” James’ hand found itself in his hair. “Not yet.”

Peter went back to cutting his fish.

“Yeah, sure. They’ll be fine with it too.”

“Thanks, Pete.” James sounded less casual than he intended.

Peter shrugged it off. “I’ll pick up extra wings on my way over. If you let Remus know I’m sure he’ll get extra beers.”

Peter took a drink of water.

“So I finally watched the new Disney film on Netflix…”

* * *

 

Back at the office James walked Peter to his desk, still arguing over which was the better Disney movie: The Lion King, or Mulan. Peter had made some pretty good points in favour of Mulan (“Badass female warrior!”), but James continued to defend The Lion King.

As they walked through the kitchen to the annex, James noticed Lily having lunch in the break room. She was sitting with Mary and Frank, as well as Dorcas, whose gesturing told James she was in the middle of one of her hilarious stories. Lily threw back her head as she joined in the table’s laughter.

Of course Lily found a way to laugh, even in the midst of such a shitty day.

He must have been watching longer than he thought, because Lily made eye contact with him through the window, giving him a small smile. _I’m okay_.

James smiled back. _I know_.

Peter’s voice pulled him away from his silent exchange.

“So, do you admit defeat and accept that Mulan is a far better movie than The Lion King?” he asked James, though he had clearly noticed his friend’s distraction.

James huffed in annoyance.

“Can’t we just call them equal?”

* * *

 

James watched with satisfaction as his sticky note paper plane landed smoothly on the reception desk.

In the last year, he and Lily had perfected the art of writing notes on stickies, then folding and sending them to each other.

They had had a few close calls, though, with planes crash landing just a _little_ too close to Stephen’s door. One had even landed inside his office, when he left his door open. James had to go in and pretend to ask Stephen about pricing changes, then drop what he was holding to pick up the sticky note.

Lily noticed the note on her desk and took it down to open it. _you busy?_ it read. She looked up at James and shook her head no.

He sauntered over to reception then, greeted by Lily’s tilted head and curious smile.

“Alright, Evans?”

She smiled a little wider, still puzzled.

“Just fine, Potter.”

“The lads and I – Sirius, Remus, Peter – we’re meeting at our place tonight for wings and beer and,” James paused. “NCIS, I think. D’you wanna join us?”

Lily hesitated a moment, searching James’ face.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” she finally replied.

James ran a hand through his hair.

“Right! Is seven a good time?”

“Yeah,” Lily said, almost as if lost in thought. “Seven is great.”

“Cool,” James gave Lily a mildly awkward peace sign and retreated to his desk. Sitting down to open his email, he noticed a notification from his messaging app and clicked it.

 **Lily of the Evans:** _I just realized I forgot to ask for you address_ *monkey covering eyes emoji*

 **PotterJamesPotter:** _Right, ofc! One sec_

James took out a sticky note and scrawled his address on it, making it into a paper airplane and shooting it in Lily’s direction.

**Lily of the Evans:** _Much as I always appreciate your sticky planes, wouldn’t messaging have been faster?_

**PotterJamesPotter:** _Oh my dear Evans._

_I can’t possibly have my address recorded in our office chat history forever_

_what if it should fall into enemy hands?_

**Lily of the Evans:** _ahh I see. It is indeed important to protect against one’s enemies, particularly if one has many_

**PotterJamesPotter:** _hey now, who said anything about many?_

_I’m just trying to evade corporate_

**Lily of the Evans:** _Well then I’m sorry to break it to you, Potter –_

_Corporate already has your address._

James gasped dramatically, drawing a laugh from Lily, confused glances from Sirius and Frank, and a pointed glare from Sally.

 **PotterJamesPotter:** _but… how?_

**Lily of the Evans:** _you likely submitted it in your job application_

_and if not then they would have gotten it in the employee agreement_

**PotterJamesPotter:** _touché, Lily Evans… but I am afraid I have now been compromised._

_If you still want to come tonight, do not take unnecessary risks_

_…and make sure you are not being followed_

**Lily of the Evans:** _see you at seven, potter_

**PotterJamesPotter:** _see you then Evans_

* * *

 

By seven, James was far more nervous than he’d like to admit, checking the time every twenty seconds; on his watch, his phone, the clock on the wall.

Sirius had taken the mickey when he first noticed, but despite the teasing, James couldn’t stop.

Some normalcy returned when Remus arrived, holding two six-packs of beer. The trio settled into their usual spots in the living room, discussing everything unimportant as they waited for the beer to get cold in the fridge.

Peter was next to appear, bringing extra wings as promised. Beers were opened, the telly was turned on, and they left a football match playing in the background.

The apartment buzzer rang at 7:12, and James was further teased for the way he practically leapt off the couch to answer it.

And then Lily was in the doorway, and any nerves James had suddenly dissipated. She was red-faced and extending a bottle of red wine.

“I know this isn’t really a red wine occasion,” she was saying, “but my mum always said not to come ‘round someone’s empty handed, so. You can keep it for some other time, or re-gift it if you guys aren’t wine drinkers, whatever you want.”

James laughed, thanking her for the wine as he accepted it and showed her where to leave her things. He popped into the kitchen to set the wine on the counter and grab a cold beer for her.

When he returned to the entryway, the lads were saying hi to Lily. Remus was at the forefront (“It’s been too long; so good to see you!”) followed by Sirius (“I’m sorry we sent this ugly mug to greet you instead of presenting you with my beautiful face”) and Peter (“We’ve got plenty of wings, so I hope you’re hungry!”). Sirius’ comment earned him a flipped bird from James, and a laugh from Lily.

“I am so lucky that I can stare at your face from my desk all day,” she enthused as they made their way to the wings and beer, Lily already holding the one James had procured for her. Sirius shot her a wink.

Lily didn’t show any hesitation as she planted herself cross-legged in the middle of the couch, between James and Peter.

When wings were passed around on paper plates, she pushed her sleeves up to her elbows and tucked a serviette into her t-shirt.

“I’m the messiest wings eater,” she laughed by way of explanation.

They held no contest for who could eat the most _Infernissimo_ wings, but that didn’t stop Sirius from telling Lily all about it.

“… and this dumbass kept going even though it looked like he was about to cry –”

“Trust me, there were tears in his eyes,” Peter chimed in.

“and he inhaled about half a carton of milk afterward,” Sirius finished, gesturing to show Lily the exaggerated mess James had made of himself.

Remus wasn’t done, though.

“You don’t even want to know how long he spent in the loo that night,” he said with an evil glint in his eye.

James spluttered as he tried to defend himself, Lily roaring with laughter beside him.

True to her disclaimer, she had wing sauce across her mouth and part of her cheek, and the serviette had been put to good use.

James felt the urge to reach out and wipe the sauce off her face, but Lily excused herself to the loo and returned without a trace of chicken wings on her.

They put on _NCIS_ , working on their second or third beers, and Lily was quickly drawn into the episode. She joined Peter in correcting Sirius’ mistaken characters, and threw out her own plot predictions.

It was on one of those occasions (“Oh my God, what if she’s not the thief, but _he_ is!”), as she grabbed both Peter and James’ shoulder in realization, that James reached a realization of his own.

Lily Evans fit.

Undaunted by the close-knit group ( _The Marauders_ , they jokingly called themselves), she had made herself at home, found a place among them.

She smiled and laughed, and wasn’t afraid to join in making fun of any of them, but could take as well as she gave.

And it was that night, after they had all left (Lily hugging him and whispering her thanks), that James knew what her Christmas gift would be.

The gift itself had already been forming in James’ mind, but with a surge of either bravery or stupidity, he decided on the final piece.

 _Christmas is the time to tell people how you feel,_ he thought as he sat down to write Lily Evans a letter; _the_ letter.

His prose wasn’t great, and he stumbled through what he wanted to tell her, wanted her to know. But once he started he couldn’t stop, and he poured his whole, messy, embarrassing heart onto the paper before him.

When he’d finally finished, he didn’t read it over. He folded the letter, scrawled her name on an envelope, and sealed the whole thing before he could change his mind.

James realized that the thing tugging at the back of his mind was the fear that his and Lily’s friendship would be ruined if he was honest. But that fear was now replaced by the conviction that it wasn’t fair not to be honest with Lily.

If all she wanted was friendship, he’d find a way to make that work. He included that in the letter. But he couldn’t keep pretending he didn’t care for Lily as more than a friend.

Now all he had to do was wait until the office Christmas party.

That, and put his shite gift-wrapping skills to the test.

* * *

 

On the day of the Christmas party, people arrived in various states of festive clothing, placing their neatly wrapped gifts under the tree in the boardroom. The Party Planning Committee had used their lunch hour to set up the plastic tree the day before, playing Christmas music in the background and enlisting the help of almost everyone in the office to decorate.

Lily was wearing a deep blue off-shoulder jumper that somehow highlighted the colour of her hair, which James couldn’t stop staring at. Maybe that was just amplified by the fact that he knew Lily would read the letter today, though. He tried not to think about it too much, but found himself bouncing his leg constantly, his body jittery.

He had gone the red route himself, pulling on a wine-coloured dress shirt in favour of the usual white and light blues he wore. Sirius, on the other hand, was wearing the ugliest Christmas jumper known to man. Just staring at it too long was overwhelming, with its myriad of scenes and characters, bits and bobs hanging off it, and even sections that lit up. Somehow James didn’t think the battery would last until the party. Bertram was in a nice vest, and Frank was even wearing a suit jacket and green tie. Sally looked like she was dressed to go to Christmas mass, and Dorcas looked the same as she always did. Stephen had seemed normal when James saw first saw him, but he knew his “party outfit” had been packed for later. James wasn’t sure he wanted to see it, given what Stephen had worn to previous years’ Christmas parties.

Being the day before the holidays, no one was really working anyway. Business was slow, and everyone had mentally checked out on Wednesday. There had been a lot of sticky note airplanes flying between James’ desk and reception.

Despite the fact that the party wasn’t offering dinner, hardly anyone went home at five, and only a few people went out to grab takeaway. It seemed that everyone was hoping to make something resembling a meal out of the snacks provided.

Or, in Sirius’ case, alcohol. He had brought an honest-to-God flask (or three) to supposedly spike his punch with.

“ _Your_ punch?” James had asked. “Isn’t it everyone’s punch?”

Sirius just laughed.

“Please, as if I would waste my rum on the communal punch. I’ll just add some kick to my own servings of it. Although, if you’re nice to me, I’m sure I could be convinced to share.”

James rolled his eyes, but grabbed the flask out of Sirius’ hand and took a swig.

By five-thirty, when Lily and Dorcas started setting out the food for the party, most everyone was milling around the boardroom. By six, James was surprised by how many people actually brought a plus one. Remus had showed up about fifteen minutes earlier, and was now catching up with everyone who’d once been a colleague in the office. Frank had been one of the few who went home at five, returning an hour later with his girlfriend, Alice, who worked in marketing.  Francine and Bertram left briefly to bring their husband and wife, respectively, and Dorcas’ girlfriend wandered in not five minutes ago, a smiling professional football player named Marlene.

Sirius, despite his assertion that the rum was not for everyone, had been offering to pack a little more punch (pun intended) into others’ cups – hardly anyone refused. James wasn’t sure how large of a rum supply Sirius had, but at this rate the office was going to be interesting well before ten.

Stephen made his grand entrance just gone six, wearing a full Santa Claus costume. Not the worst thing James had imagined. Upon his arrival he announced that Secret Santa should begin immediately, no point waiting to get to the “fun stuff”.

They arranged themselves in what was supposed to be a circle around the boardroom, but in reality resembled someone’s artsy swimming pool design. Sally set about picking a gift and passing it to the Secret Santa, who would then reveal who their gift was for, before the recipient opened it. Peter got a box of chocolates from Mary, which he thanked her for. Francine got a lovely scarf from Frank, who admitted that Alice had picked it out. “I love it!” Francine had exclaimed before putting it on, and Alice beamed. Next was James’ gift, and he felt his heart rate increase.

“Evans, this one’s for you,” he said, extending the box.

“Well then, this had better be good, Potter,” Lily teased as she accepted the gift and began opening it.

Pulling out a turquoise teapot, which James knew she wanted so she could have tea at her desk, Lily smiled and thanked James, showing the teapot around to their colleagues.

James was about to tell her there was more inside the teapot, but Sally was already moving on to the next gift, and James figured it was probably better for Lily to see the mini-gifts when everyone else wasn’t watching.

Soon, everyone had their gifts. Sirius had gotten shampoo from Peter, which everyone laughed at, Remus most of all, and Frank gave James a pint glass with a stag on it (“I didn’t even know these _existed_!”)

Stephen gave the order to “crank up the holiday tunez”, and James stepped out of the boardroom to put his gift on his desk. Lily seemed to have the same idea, setting the teapot on the top part of the reception desk before thanking James again as he wandered over to her.

“Now I can just make a quick trip to the kitchen and invite you ‘round for tea at mine,” she joked, tapping the teapot.

James’ smile widened.

“Well, this gift is pretty great because it comes with extra gifts inside,” he said.

“What!” Lily gasped, opening the lid of the teapot.

James felt a knot form in his chest as he watched Lily’s excitement. She’d been so happy all day, and James felt it was unfair of him to spring the letter on her now, to ruin a festive evening. What right did he have to overwhelm her with all his feelings just before Christmas, when there was already so much going on in her life?

No, he decided. He could always tell her in the new year. A few more weeks would only do good to the situation.

Quickly, while Lily was still looking inside the teapot, James reached for the letter in the teapot box, and slid it into his back pocket.

The first thing Lily pulled out of the teapot was a crumpled up piece of paper – the drawing she had made of Sirius singing.

“Oh my God, you kept this?” she smiled at James.

“’Course I did – gotta be able to say I ‘knew you when’ once you become a famous _artiste_ ,” he replied, only half joking.  Lily snorted but continued to explore the teapot’s contents.

Next came a pencil that Lily had managed to use down to a nub without losing (“I am still so proud of this thing”), and a slew of sticky note airplanes they had made and sent to each other. Some had her drawings next to his stick figures, while others had jokes or random funny things they noticed about their colleagues.

“The high school picture!” Lily laughed as she pulled out a wallet-sized photograph of James with spots, terrible specs and the same unruly hair. She had first seen it when he accidentally sent her a digital version meant for his mum, and could not stop laughing for a week afterwards.

Finally, she took out half a mug handle, laughing even harder than before.

“Oh my God,” she managed to say, “I still remember this day! I walked into the kitchen when you were making tea and just like, tossing this mug. And,” she paused, wiping tears from her eyes, “you looked so surprised to see me you just _dropped_ the thing in the middle of the kitchen.”

“There were pieces _everywhere_ ,” James added, flushed but laughing as well.

“And then – we tried to hide the evidence,” Lily continued, “and we thought we’d done such a good job, but that afternoon Sally told everyone she had an announcement and said a mug had gone missing and that the thief should return it _immediately_.” Lily had a hand on her stomach now. “I could not look at you or else I knew we’d give each other away.”

“I was so scared you were going to throw me under the bus,” James replied.

“I would never!” Lily gasped exaggeratedly as she began to put the mini-gifts back into the teapot. She gave James a quick hug. “Thank you so much, I love this.”

“Of course,” James told her. “Of course, Evans.”

* * *

 

It was nearing nine, and Sirius was out of rum. Everyone seemed to have lightened up, whether it was because of the good company, holiday spirit, or Sirius’ alcoholic generosity. Regardless of the cause, the party had reached a comfortable point – no crazy drunken outbursts just yet, and hopefully none left to come, given that the rum was gone.

Right. That’s why James was with Sirius, who had just poured the last of it into their cups, although he saved a little bit for Remus, who was talking with Dorcas, Marlene, and Benjy across the room.

“James?”

He hadn’t realized he was scanning the room for her until he turned to see Lily behind him.

“Yeah,” He was already ( _stupidly)_ smiling, but she wasn’t. James couldn’t read her expression, and he could swear it wasn’t because of the rum.

“Can we talk for a sec?” Lily motioned toward the hallway with the hand that was holding the letter –

_Wait. How did Lily have his letter in her hand?_

James reflexively reached for the letter he had placed in his back pocket, but of course it wasn’t there. He whipped around to Sirius beside him, who had seen the whole exchange, mildly amused.

_Sirius thought this was a joke._

“Padfoot, I cannot believe you _fucking_ –”

Sirius raised his hands and eyebrows.

“Whoa, Prongs, it wasn’t me. I didn’t –”

“I did it.” Remus appeared beside Sirius. “I gave Lily the letter.”

James frowned in confusion, then betrayal.

 _Remus_ gave Lily the letter?

But Remus looked steady and earnest, opposite to Sirius’ mirth.

“You did _what_?” James looked helplessly toward Lily. “I swear I didn’t mean for you to – Remus shouldn’t have –”

Remus held his ground.

“Lily deserved to read that letter, and you know it.”

James felt the knot in his chest tighten as Remus’ words rang true.

Had he actually thought the letter was better shared in the new year, or did he just chicken out?

“James, can we just talk a minute?”

It was the gravity of her tone, the unreadable-ness of her face, that made him finally focus on Lily.

He nodded, and saw her shoot one last glance at Sirius and Remus ( _traitors_ ), before leading him outside.

* * *

 

“Lily, I’m so sorry – I don’t know what I was thinking writing that, and then I tried to hide the letter but Remus –”

James started apologizing to the back of Lily’s head as she shoved the letter in her pocket and the hallway door closed behind them. She whipped around to face him, and James caught the fierce determination in her eyes, closing his own ( _coward_ ) just before she slapped him.

Except she didn’t slap him. Eyes still shut, James felt Lily grip his face with both hands and press her lips to his.

His eyes flew open, unsure if the force of the slap had sent him into some dreamlike hallucination. Instead he saw Lily kissing him, her eyes shut, and this close, he could fully appreciate the freckles scattered across her nose, her cheekbones, her eyelids. He wanted to keep staring at her like this forever, but her hands made their way from his face to his hair, and his eyes closed involuntarily as he kissed her back.

His arms, which had been hanging at his sides in shock, finally reconnected to his brain. James pulled Lily closer to him, placing a hand on her hip, the other reaching up to cradle her head as their open mouths met, deepening the kiss.

She tasted like punch, and a little bit of Sirius’ rum. Like chocolate and peppermint and something that could only be her.

Lily let out what might have been a sigh, walking backwards and pulling James with her until she hit the wall.   

James let out a sound that was part pain, part pleasure, his right hand pinned behind Lily’s head.

Lily pulled away suddenly and much too soon for James’ liking – although now that he could see her eyes open and shining right in front of him, he didn’t mind terribly.

“Oh my God, are you okay?” she asked breathlessly, worry lining her ( _beautiful_ , James thought) face for just a second before she burst into laughter. James couldn’t help but laugh as well, moving his crushed hand to brush Lily’s hair back, and letting his forehead fall against hers.

His chest felt so full, and he felt so light, and he still wasn’t totally sure he wasn’t hallucinating.

But then Lily smiled at him – just for him, _because of him_ – and James knew it was real.

“Hi,” she whispered up at him.

“Hi,” he breathed back.

“I always wondered what this would feel like,” Lily mused, still running her hands gently through James’ hair. “Your crazy hair is just as soft as I imagined.”

James pressed a slow kiss to Lily’s lips, his right hand cupping the side of her face.

“I always wondered what this would feel like,” he admitted once he pulled away. Lily let out a short laugh, and James felt a blush creep over his cheeks. She kissed him again though, and he could feel her smile against his mouth.

“So, James Potter,” she said, hands continuing to explore his hair, “do you want to go out with me sometime?”

Her green eyes flicked up to meet his hazel orbs.

James grinned.

“Lily Evans, I would love to.”

Their next kiss was mostly teeth and laughter, both of them smiling too wide, neither minding one bit.

And then Lily caught James’ bottom lip between her teeth, playful and yet serious, and James stifled a groan. He moved to press slow, open-mouthed kisses to the edge of her mouth, her jaw. He heard Lily’s breathing grow heavier, her hands now tugging at his hair.

He continued making his way along her jawline, biting gently when he reached her earlobe (a ghost of a laugh from Lily) before dropping to the side of her neck, her bare shoulder.

Lily dragged his face back to hers, and everything around James fell away, leaving only Lily. James reveled in the feeling of Lily’s lips, soft and slightly chapped, her tongue, her hands in his hair, her nose occasionally nudging against his, the way her back arched toward him when he ran his hands along her sides.

One of Lily’s hands abandoned his hair in favour of gripping his collar, and James started to debate the potential consequences of helping Lily lose her festive jumper right there in the hallway.

James barely heard the door open.

“Ha! I _knew_ it!”

Sirius.

James and Lily both froze.

_Fuck._

Lily laughed, her whole face turning a few shades lighter than her hair, and James realized he must have sworn aloud.

He turned to see Sirius’ smug face in the doorway and gave him a look that said _Go now, please_. He already missed Lily’s hands in his hair. When he glanced at her, she had removed them and straightened up behind him. James mimicked her, using one hand to adjust his glasses, which he only just noticed were askew. He reached for her with his free hand, and she entwined their fingers loosely. It seemed neither of them wanted to completely give up contact. Sirius just grinned as Peter appeared behind him.

“Hey Padfoot, do you have any more rum?”

It took Peter a second to look past Sirius and notice James and Lily. Another to notice they were both flushed and grinning and holding hands.

“God _damn_ it,” he said, before spinning on his heel. “I gotta find Remus.”

James and Lily must have looked equally confused, because Sirius burst into laughter.

“I fucking _knew_ _it_ ,” Sirius repeated. “You guys should probably come back inside in the next thirty seconds if you don’t want to keep being interrupted.”

He gave them a wink and stepped away from the hallway door he’d been holding open. The door shut, and for a moment it was just James and Lily again as he turned to face her.

“Why didn’t you want me to read the letter?” she asked, absently running her thumb along his.

James felt his face flush.

“I dunno,” he started, trying to find the words. “I thought that it was bad timing, that it wasn’t fair of me to unload all of this on you…” James frowned. “and I wasn’t sure how you’d react and just – chickened out I guess.”

He was staring at their joined hands, but suddenly looked up at Lily’s face.

“It’s not that I didn’t mean what I wrote, because I do. I really do, Lily.”

Lily beamed, and this time James noticed her rise onto her tiptoes to kiss him, languid and kind.

“I know.”

* * *

 

When James and Lily rejoined the party, they were met with whoops, clapping, and a few wolf whistles.

Laughing along with everyone else, James called out, “You’d think you were all personally invested in our romantic lives!”

This brought about a fresh round of laughter, and Benjy cleared his throat.

“Actually, we did.”

He held up a notebook.

“Everyone knew James liked Lily and Lily liked James, except Lily and James. So I started taking bets,” he smirked smugly.

“Of course, I won,” Sirius added.

“You – what?” James spluttered and blushed, while Lily laughed, running a hand through her hair. “I can’t believe I work with you guys.”

“Well, you’re welcome to everyone who enjoyed our entertainment tonight,” Lily said with a hand twirl and a bow. “Happy Christmas to you all – and make sure to finish all the food tonight!”

Their colleagues clapped and continued mingling, though several gave James and Lily knowing looks and warm smiles.

* * *

The party ended uneventfully, people slowly making their way home as the hour neared ten. The Party Planning Committee and a few others (James included) stayed behind to clean up, and everything was in order within a half hour.

Although Lily and James could never quite stay away from each other, he noticed that over the course of that evening the gravitational pull had been for physical contact. They didn’t hold hands constantly, but James found himself reaching for Lily’s arm or shoulder, found her leaning against him, brushing her arm against his.

As the last of them left the office, James asked if he could see Lily home. She was only a few tube stops away, and neither of them wanted to say goodbye just yet.

Sirius was headed to Remus’ for the night, so they and Peter said their goodbyes and shared hugs before going their separate ways.

James and Lily chatted about their Christmas plans as they walked. The Marauders were doing Christmas Eve together and Christmas Day with the Potters, while Lily was going to her mum’s on the twenty-fourth and visiting for a few days.

Once they reached the subway, they fell into a comfortable semi-silence, sitting next to each other and humming one of the Christmas songs that had been playing throughout the night. Neither of them was particularly on-key, but no one else could hear them anyway.

James walked Lily to her flat, her mittened hand in his. He smiled to the concierge as Lily wished him a goodnight, let her lead him to the lifts and watched as she hit number seven. They didn’t talk during the short ride, but Lily reached for his hand, her mittens stuffed in her pockets. 

When they reached her flat ( _number 713_ ), Lily turned her key in the lock and, without opening the door, finally turned to face James.

“So…” she took a step toward him, her toes almost touching his.

James took a deep breath before speaking.

“Can I see you tomorrow?”

Lily’s eyes lit up.

“How about breakfast?”

James leaned down and kissed her, slow but sweet.

“I’ll be here at nine.”

Lily smiled at him then. Not a full grin, but a smile that spoke of having all the time in the world.

She opened the door behind her.

“Goodnight, James.”

“Goodnight, Lily,” he answered softly.

He took it all in. Her summer-bright eyes, her hair that always reminded him of autumn, her winter-themed jumper, the way she was smiling – all spring.

James walked backwards toward the lifts, Lily watching him until he rounded the corner.

He heard her door click shut down the hallway.

All the way home he managed to hum while grinning.  

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this far!  
> I know I said I was inspired by The Office episode, but I couldn't stand to give James and Lily that ending. This was so much fun to write, and I really appreciate you for making it all the way through this not-so-little story.
> 
> I'd love to have any feedback or just know your thoughts in the comments below!
> 
> Happy holidays if you celebrate them, and if not, then happy end of 2018! 
> 
> Much love, Sabrina xx


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